7 RULES FOR A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

 Long-Distance relationships are hard, but especially for those that are Dom/sub.  It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart and problems and issues arise. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet.  But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so you’re separated for months, a long-distance D/s relationship can still succeed.  Both the Dominant and submissive have to work at it though. So here are some ideas for rules to keep in mind.

1.  Avoid long-distance relationship problems when using technology

Technology can be a lifesaver in a long-distance relationship.  Texting especially can be easy and convenient, but after a while you may find it gets boring.  Don’t neglect all the other kinky ways you can enjoy technology.  Get creative and think outside the box, and soon you’ll begin to feel much closer.  Here are some ideas:

• Use FaceTime, Video Call - There’s so many possibilities with this one.  You could have a meal together, have phone sex, play games, or even have a virtual play session.  Just prop up your phone or tablet in the room, and have the Dominant give the submissive instructions.
• Watch a BDSM movie together- You can each set it up on your own PC and tablet and press play at the same time.
• Use an online journal- This is a must whether you’re long-distance or not.  A sub should have a journal they can write freely in, and the Dom should have access to it at all times.

2.  Overcome commitment issues as a Dominant or submissive

Some people get stuck in a long-distance relationship because they feel obligated to stay for one reason or another.  Be honest with your partner about what you want out of the relationship, but more importantly, be honest with yourself.

Do you really want to be in a long-distance relationship when you could be meeting other people?  If the answer is ‘yes’, then stop playing games, and work on building trust together.  Here are some other tips to prevent problems and issues from arising:

• Be patient- Even if you were physically together before things became long-distance, the new situation will take time for both of you to become comfortable.
• Have real-life interactions- Show your commitment by making and keeping plans to meet face-to-face.
• Make a contract together- A contract helps both a Dom and a sub to clearly know what their roles are in the relationship, and what’s expected of them.

3.  Create a detailed Dom/sub schedule

Having set tasks to do everyday is the perfect way to make a submissive not feel so lonely.  An assigned list keeps the Dominant in control of their partner, even when issues come up and they can’t be there physically.

A schedule also keeps the sub focused, because they don’t have to get overwhelmed with making choices or dealing with other problems. Here are some ideas for a schedule:

• Set wake up and go to bed times
• Meal times
• Time blocks for journal or kneeling
• “Little Space” activities like coloring or watching cartoons
• A certain BDSM topic to research each day
• A set exercise schedule

It’s also important to schedule in aftercare for the submissive to prevent “sub-drop”. Dom can instruct the sub to perform each task.

4.  Use gifts and games to keep things new and exciting

Everyone loves receiving gifts. When a Dominant gives their submissive a gift it reassures them of their affection and approval.  Little especially need to receive gifts regularly, but Doms like getting presents too. Here are some ideas:

• A collar
• Stuffie or blanket to comfort the sub when the Dom is away
• Matching rings or other jewelry
• Kinky toys to use when you’re together

Games are another fun way to keep a Dom and sub connected.  You can play games over the phone or text, and they are a great way to get to know each other better. Two of my favorite games are “Would You Rather” and “2 Truths and a Lie.”  Keep it kinky and you’re sure to have a lot of fun.

5.  Get creative with rules and punishment ideas

Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean that a disobedient sub can’t be punished or be given rules.  Of course, a traditional spanking by the Dominant may be out of the question, but there are so many different ways to discipline a submissive from a distance.  Here are some ideas for rules and punishments:

Rules:

• Not being able to eat junk food and having to text all their meals.
• Letting the Dom choose the sub’s clothes or undergarments for the day.
• Texting when you go out with friends, and when you come home.

Punishments:

• Taking a cold shower for 1 or 2 minutes and having to videotape themselves.
• Snapping a rubber band on their wrist a certain number of times.
• Wearing nipple clamps and texting a picture as proof.
• Having to write the same sentence 50 times and mailing it to the Dom.

6.  Take an online BDSM course together for step-by-step tips

Online courses are great for long-distance couples because they get you communicating and experimenting together, even while you’re apart. An online training program will help you deal with the issues and problems of a long-distance relationship.

You’ll have a detailed, step-by-step plan to have a better, more satisfying connection, and to take your BDSM relationship to the next level.  An e-Course is a great way for both of you to have an online mentor and coach, giving you reliable advice and tips to help you every step of the way. (They also make a great surprise gift!)

7.  Set an end date for your long-distance D/s relationship

Even if you’re having fun and enjoying your long-distance D/s relationship, it needs to end at some point.  Hopefully this means that whatever situation is keeping you apart will be resolved and you can physically be together permanently. 

Setting a date for this to happen will help both of you to endure the hard times, prevent problems and issues, and give you something to look forward to.  So set an end date together, and work hard to make it happen. The free worksheet below can make this easier.

Remember, a long-distance D/s relationship isn’t easy, but so is anything worth fighting for. Follow the rules and tips here and in the worksheet and you’re sure to have success. If you can trust, respect, and support each other when you’re apart, imagine how powerful your bond will be once you’re together.  ????

 Original article found at: https://domsubliving.com/long-distance-relationship-rules-worksheet/

A Beginner's Introduction to Dominance and Submission

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Rules and Guidelines for non-staying submissive.

 Sometimes, the Dominant and submissive doesn't stay together. In some Asian countries, it is common and we are more accustomed to being far apart but we have the desire to keep in touch thru now, the Information Technology that is so advanced with smart-phone messaging, video calls. Of course, an occasional meet up is the utmost important in the D/s relationship. So, some tasks are best when both of these individuals meet and have a wonderful time together. I have come up with some Rules and Guidelines over some aspect of daily life that we should keep our submissive in check. There are others and more intense or better guidelines out on the internet. I am only putting some of these tasks and share with you. If you have other ideas as well, do let me know : 

Here are some things in no particular order. That you need to follow and do the best
you can to please your master. Some may just be a simple self-discipline behavior to
learn self control. In this list will include some tasks that are deemed sexually aroused by
your Master for you to perform. This is usually done when both of you are together in
person. However, if your Master is not present, you will have to snapshot or video record
and submit to your Master for approval. NOTE : All photos and videos submitted will not
be allowed to be shared publicly by both parties.
DAILY RULES:

1. Must use “Master”, Sir” at all times. (e.g. Thank you Master, Yes Sir, ok Master)

2. No vulgar words of any kind during your conversation with your Master. (e.g.

fuck, dang, shit) ** Unless it's during a role playing sex play.

a. When not with your Master and is messaging him on the app, no need to

type out vulgar words for your Master to read.

3. Every day, when you wake up, your Master would like a “Good Morning Master”

4. You will ask your Master’s permission when you want to masturbate.

a. You will also ask your Master’s permission on when you can cum when

you’re about to reach the height of cumming.

5. You will watch what you eat and have a healthy diet.

a. You will slim down to a sexier body to please your Master and as you said

you are willing to wear a latex thigh skirt to perform a catwalk at a public

place under instructions from your Master.

6. Your Master wants you to write (using a marker that is non-toxic) his title “Master

Dean” on some part of your body every week (or when the ink fades).

a. The Master will want to know where you wrote his name. Each time,

should be a different part of the body. You can repeat at the same place

after the 5th time)

b. A photo will be sent to your Master. The photo needs to include the whole

area of your body. Not just the part of the writing. (not a timer photo)

c. Colors of bra and panty are to be included in the message.

WEEKLY RULES & TASKS

1. Your Master wants you to dress up on every occasion that you go out with your

friends or family. And a full body photo will be sent to your Master. (not a timer

photo)

2. Once a week you will wear your pink panties+bra set.

d. If the pink set is not clean, the white or black set is ok, if none of them are

clean it is time to go commando (usually no bra+panties. But can be

applicable to no panties only) again! Even if you have already done so

once that week.

e. Not applicable if it’s the time of the month.

3. Once a week you will go commando (usually no bra+panties. But can be

applicable to no panties only)

a. Not applicable if it’s the time of the month

4. If your Master asks you to go commando (usually no bra+panties. But can be

applicable to no panties only) you will do that and that will count as your once a

week.

5. You will need to inform your Master when the time of the month starts and when

it ends. (an app will be used to keep track)

WHEN / MEETING UP WITH MASTER

1. You are required not to masturbate a day before you meet your Master.

2. Your Master will require you take off your panties before meeting with him. You

cannot bring along your panties. Your panties should be placed in your office.

Failure to do so, will result in your panties being confiscated on the spot.

3. No messaging on any of the messenger apps while meeting with your Master.

Unless it is urgent and needs to be replied to. Let your Master know the reason

that you need to reply.

4. No messaging on any of the messenger apps while in the car with your Master.

Unless it is urgent and needs to be replied to. Let your Master know the reason

that you need to reply.

5. You can be forced to flash your pussy (when you’re not wearing panties and in a

skirt or dress. Your Master will pretend to pick up something that is dropped under

the table)

6. You are required to masturbate in your panties and continue wearing them,

disregarding any spots that may appear.

7. Traveling by car naked or dressed in lingerie or a set. (when at longer distance

travel only covered with a shawl if the traffic is heavy)

8. Doing some of the “hidden” little things like plugs, nipple tape, nipple clamps.

9. Wearing a vibrator, with the controls in your master's pocket.

10. You can be forced to take your panties off at any time, return to the table (at

restaurant, cafe, park) and hand them to him.

11. You can be forced to masturbate beneath the table cloth while at a restaurant

or when in the car.

12. You can be forced to flash your nipples when no one seems to be looking at any

time anywhere.

Revised: 19 Dec 2020

Some Daily Rules and Routines for the Submissive

When you’re working full time, the desire to submit can be impeded by a good number of obstacles. As a submissive who balances their full-time employment with their submissive role, one of their most concerns will always be finding a way to please their dominant while maintaining a strong professional image outside of the home. Regardless, it was difficult to find any information about balancing a professional life with the submissive desires, so this article is dedicated to the people who, wish to explore the D/s relationship dynamic and continue to work in the business world.

Researching through the internet for ideas of rules to give a submissive, but in the end, it seemed that a lot of rules found were for 24/7 slaves or submissive, and this was neither realistic nor something ready to commit to without some serious consideration and reflection on whether or not visible to enjoy submitting on a smaller scale. After a lot of consideration, I have incorporated them into this article so that you can see how, although intimate, these rules aren’t obtrusive or overbearing. They are copied and pasted directly from the article found. So they’re written as such:

• Once a week you will go commando.
• Not applicable if the time of the month
• If Master ask you to go commando you will do and that will count as your once a week.
  • Once a week you will wear your red panty/bra set.
    • If the red set is not clean, the tan or pink set is ok, if none of them are clean time to go commando again! Even if you have already done so once that week.
• Not applicable if the time of the month.
• Master wants you to write his name on some part of your body every day.
• Every day, when I wake up I would like an message telling me what you are going to wear that day and the name placement. Undergarments are to be included.

NO toys/brush without permission. (Hands are ok).

As mentioned, the nice thing about the rule-set was that it allowed a lot of leeway on whether or not submissive would be happy following the instructions. It also consisted of rules that it would follow on the days that at work as well as the days that at home.

Collar and Jewelry:

• I will wear my collar or something (dominant to give submissive an item) to be worn every day.
• I will adhere to any preference the Master have regarding which collar I am allowed to wear and for how long I may wear it each day.
• When we are together, I will ask the Master to put my collar on and to take it off for me.

I will adhere to any preferences that the Master have regarding the jewelry I wear.

Clothing:

• Each night, I will ask the Master if you have any preferences regarding my clothing for the next day; I will follow the instructions that you give me.
  • Condition 1. In the event that requested garments (i.e. panties, bras, socks, etc.) are dirty, I must default to condition 2a of my old set of rules which states that I must forego wearing any article of clothing in place of the one assigned.
• Condition 2. In the event that you have made a request for me to wear something that is not appropriate for work, I will make arrangements to wear one work-appropriate outfit during the day and change into the requested outfit during the evening.
• You may deny permission to wear any item I have selected, in which case, I must change my clothing, or I just skip the item.
• When we are together, I will ask you to approve of or pick out the clothing I have planned to wear for the next day.
• During the first three days of my cycle, I am to wear something comfortable.

During the day, if I wish to change clothing or take an item off, I must ask permission to do so.

Grooming/Hygiene:

• I will adhere to any preference you might have regarding whether I shower or take a bath.
• I will adhere to any preference you might have regarding whether I bathe/shower at night or in the morning.
• I will also adhere to any preference you have to which body lotion or perfume I use after I bathe/shower.

I will ask you if you have any preferences regarding what color I paint my nails before I paint them.

Daily Tasks:

• Each morning, I will write your name somewhere on my body
• Condition 1. If we are together, I will let you write your name on my body each morning.
• Each evening, I must write an e-mail to you describing in detail everything that I plan to wear the following day. This e-mail must include undergarments, my outfit, jewelry, perfume, and the location of the place I have chosen to write your name for that day, even if you assigned the items to me.
  • I will join you for a cup of tea when you ask.
• Condition 1. If I am at work and not able to make a cup of tea, I will make tea as soon as I can.
  • I will perform any other tasks given to me either the night prior to or throughout the day.
    • Condition 1. If I am unable to do the task due to location, I may request to postpone the task until I am in a location where performing the task is appropriate.
    • Condition 2. If I feel unable to perform the task due to lack of privacy, I may request to postpone the task until I have the privacy required to correctly perform the given task.

Condition 3. In the event that the task is sexual in nature and I am on my period, I may request to postpone the task until such time that I am comfortable performing it.

Playing:

• I must ask permission each time I wish to masturbate.
• I must also ask permission to orgasm.
• I must follow any instructions that you give me regarding what I am allowed to use, how long I am allowed to use it, etc. when I masturbate.
• If I am given instructions regarding masturbation prior to asking, I must follow those instructions to the best of my ability. See conditions Daily Tasks 4 sub(1-3).
• I must include an account of my play, including how long, in my nightly e-mail to you. See rule Daily Tasks 2.

If I wish to buy a new toy, I will make arrangements to sit down with you so that we can pick one out together.

This article was taken somewhere else and is written by an online submissive.